Uncover the Passion

Years ago when I was in a sales role, I was having difficulty getting to a very large prospect. He had an assistant who was his gatekeeper. She was very controlling, ornery, and had that mother hen type personality. I decided that the only way I was going to get anywhere was to win her over. That became my mission. I knew I would have to find something she was passionate about in order to make the connection. I began by looking around the cubicle she worked in to observe pictures or items on display. If someone uses the limited office space they have to display something unrelated to work, there is a very high probability that it represents something for which they have a passion. The key is to uncover the passion.

In the case of this woman, there were a half a dozen pictures of a teenage girl, the latest of which showed her in a marching band uniform. I recognized the uniform colors to be those of a local high school. I asked her if that was her daughter and began to talk about the school. It was as if someone had flipped a switch. Her whole demeanor changed and she completely opened up. This happened over 15 years ago and I still remember her daughter’s name, Melanie. Every time I spoke to her from that day forward, the first question I asked was “How is Melanie?” She became my biggest advocate and her boss became one of my largest clients as a result.

Everyone is passionate about something. For me, it’s my family and skiing. If you engage me in discussion on either of these topics I will open up and inevitably like you more because you tapped into my interests. For some people it’s golf or a particular college football team. The key is to uncover the passion and get them talking.

Your homework for this week is to find someone with whom you want to develop a relationship and uncover the passion. You can do this by asking open-ended questions about that passion, and letting them talk. Watch their reaction. Send me a response and let me know how it worked.