Stress

Many years ago in what feels like another life, I owned a construction company. Three days a week I would wake up and throw up. It was the result of the stress I was putting myself through. I was reliant upon people that weren’t always reliable, but the biggest driver of my stress was the fear of failure. My worst nightmare eventually came to pass. To top things off, as my business was failing, I found out my wife was having an affair. I got divorced and closed a business within months of each other. It was all brought on by stress. Looking back, I realize my situation was completely self–inflicted.

The body’s purpose for stress is a response to fight or flight. If you awake to the sound of breaking glass in your home, your immediate assumption is that someone is breaking in. Your heart rate goes up, your adrenaline flows, and your lungs open wider. Your body is preparing for battle. You come out of your room relieved to find that your cat knocked a glass vase off the counter. Within a short period of time, your body goes back to normal. When we experience stress in daily life, the body maintains that heightened state of alert for a prolonged period of time. There is no immediate recovery. Your body is not designed to sustain that heightened state. It takes a huge physical and mental toll on you.

Here’s the reality: The vast majority of what we worry about never comes to pass. We put negative energy into these irrational fears. You can simply accept that your brain does this, or you can do something about it. The first step is to catch the issue before your brain makes it something bigger. Assume you get a cryptic message from your boss on Friday afternoon, and you dwell on it through the weekend. If instead, you stopped trying to read into it and redirected your mind to something more pleasant, you would deal with it on Monday. The reality is that there probably isn’t anything you can do immediately anyway.

What if there is a hurricane headed towards you? While you can’t control the trajectory, you can consider the odds of impact and take steps to protect your home and family. When you find yourself in a stressful situation, stop and ask the following question: Is there some action I can take to reduce or eliminate the stress I am feeling? If yes, then take the action. If the answer is no, determine what your worst-case scenario would be. What are the odds of that worst scenario playing out? Is there a contingency plan you can put together for the most probable outcome?

Another tool you can use to control stress is the perspective adjustment. Next time you are experiencing stress, ask yourself two simple questions: 1. Will this issue matter 10 years from now? 2. If I knew my days on the planet were numbered, would I still be feeling the way I do about the current stressor? Putting the problem in perspective, you quickly realize that the only stress you experience is that which is brought on by you.

If you know someone that can benefit this message, I ask that you like it and pass it along.