Power of Forgiveness

I just read an article about an employee who chose to use his office computer password as a daily affirmation for whatever goal he was working towards. It started when he realized that his anger towards his ex-wife was consuming him. He used “forgive_h3r” to log in several times a day. He realized within two weeks that his anger towards her had dissipated. By the time 30 days passed, requiring him to change his company password, he was in a completely different mental state. He was no longer angry at her. He recognized the strength of daily affirmations combined with the power of forgiveness. For the next two years, his monthly password reflected an area of his life that he wished to improve.

Almost all of us have someone against whom we still hold a grudge: A boss, co-worker, spouse, family member or maybe even an old friend. The reality is that forgiving someone really isn’t about the other person. Forgiving does more for you than the person you forgive. Two different Harvard studies found several direct health benefits of forgiving. Researchers found a direct link between forgiveness and reduced stress. When you hold a grudge, your body goes through the same reaction as a major stressful event: your muscles tense, your blood pressure rises, and your heart rate increases.

Forgiveness heals your heart. The Journal of Behavioral Medicine reported that the anxiety-induced spikes in blood pressure during stressful events returned to normal more quickly when participants forgave their offenders. ust thinking about forgiveness helps. A study from the University of Wisconsin-Madison revealed that those who hold grudges have greater heart problems than those who forgave. When the subjects in the study were asked to merely think about giving up a gripe, their cardiovascular and nervous system functioning improved.

Forgiveness is not only good for your heart, but for your mind as well. A study from the University of Sheffield, in the United Kingdom, used MRI’s to study forgiveness’ affect on the brain. When a person is forgiving, there is an increased activity in the frontal lobe of the brain, which is directly responsible for reasoning, problem-solving, and complex thought.

Dr. Fred Luskin, director and cofounder of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, found that those taught to forgive were not only less stressed, but were happier, more optimistic, and self-confident.

Forgiveness is wonderfully selfish. When you forgive someone, you make yourself, instead of the person who hurt you, responsible for your happiness and well-being. Someone insightfully explained that, “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

For this week, identify someone in your life for which you are harboring resentment. Make the choice to forgive. Use a computer password, write a letter [you don’t even need to send it], or just imagine actually having that conversation. It’s time to discover the power of forgiveness. Your heart and mind will thank you.