People Want to Help

Courtesy Flickr Creative Commons

Human nature is a wonderful thing. If you can tap into it, life flows more easily. One thing I’ve learned about human nature is that most people want to help. We like to solve problems and be the hero to others. The key to making this happen is for the person helping you to establish ownership of your problem. In order for them to willingly take it on, they have to have a reason to want to help. Liking you is a great reason.

Rule #1: Don’t lose your temper. If you lose your temper you create an enemy. You need an ally. As I am writing this, I’m on hold with Comcast, my internet provider. I’m convinced that they have the most incompetent back office of any company with whom I have ever dealt. It’s taking everything I have not to unload on the person on the other end of the phone. I know once I do that, any desire they have to fix my problem goes away.
Rule #2: Stroke their ego. Building the ego of the person trying to fix your problem empowers them to see it through. In a sense, people see ego-stroking as a form of admiration. You never want to let down someone that admires you.
Rule #3: Gain their sympathy. I needed a seat on a sold out flight to get home for my daughter’s birthday. I spoke to the gate agent, found out she had a young daughter, then shared my story about potentially missing my daughter’s 10th birthday. Miraculously, a seat appeared in first class.
Rule #4: Smile, flirt, be pleasant, make them laugh, or all of the above. Many service people have name tags. People love to hear their name. Use it when you speak to them. Treat them as you would someone you need to impress – job interviewer, new boss, new fiancé of a close family member, etc.
Rule #5: Return the favor. Kind words and appreciation go a long way. Public recognition is even more rewarding. Tell them you plan on sending an email to the person that can most benefit them. Ask who that person would be and get an email address. If you can take care of them financially (waiter or driver) go beyond anything they might expect. At the very least, kind words and appreciation go a long way.

Human nature drives people to want to take care of those in need. Treat others well and understand that people want to help. If you give them the opportunity, not only does it benefit you, it also benefits them.