Listening Skills

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Listening skills are incredibly important both in personal and business life. If you want to improve your relationship with your significant other, do a better job of listening. If you want to retain your best employees, listen to them. Even if you consider yourself to be a good listener, you can get better.

Let’s begin by looking at four levels of listening.

1. Selective listening—this is where are only tuning into part of what someone is saying. You lack focus. You could be uninterested, multitasking, or in a low energy state. In some cases you may just be pretending to listen.
2. Autobiographical listening—this is listening through your own filters. You look at things you hear from your own perspective with the influence of your own values and experiences. You know you are here when someone is telling you a story and instead of absorbing their every word, you are waiting to tell your story, which may be similar but in your mind is even better. If you are busy formulating what you will say next, you are not listening as intently as you can.
3. Purposeful listening—when you listen purposefully, you are focusing on the other person, seeing the world through their eyes. This allows you to connect at a deeper level that resonates with the person speaking.
4. Intuitive listening—This is the deepest level that goes beyond the spoken word. In intuitive listening you are tuning into body language and tapping into intuition. Good life coaches are intuitive listeners as they pick up on sentiments that their clients may not even be aware of, and then use them as a tool for self-discovery.

Where would you rate yourself as a listener? If you want to raise the level for yourself there are some ways to do it. Begin by being genuinely curious. It helps you stay engaged. Curiosity also helps you to be present in the moment, which is the most critical element of active listening. Remember if you are present, you are not thinking about what you will say next. You are focused on what the person is saying in that moment.

Acknowledgement and empathy are great tools to show people you are listening. By acknowledging and empathizing you are tuning into every detail. Another sign of listening is leaning forward and tilting the head.

People have a natural desire to be heard and are therefore drawn to great listeners. If you are serious about getting ahead in business and in life, sharpen your listening skills.