Give Back

Courtesy Flickr Creative Commons

I was in the supermarket and the woman checking out in front of me was engaged in a very uncomfortable situation with the cashier. It turns out she was $16 short. I gave the cashier the money. Both the woman and the cashier thanked me and were genuinely appreciative. I went on that day with an extra bounce in my step. I can’t think of a way that $16 could have brought me that much satisfaction. Perhaps the biggest beneficiary of the exchange was me.

My goal is to replicate this feeling more often in my life. I’m a firm believer in the law of reciprocity—what comes around goes around. If you give without preconditions, things have a way of coming back to you in a grander way. If you share this belief , why not try to find more ways to give of yourself?

Determine an amount of money that you are comfortable giving away each week. Give yourself a seven-day deadline, and make it a point to give it to someone who could use it more than you. Think back to the last week of your life. Has anyone gone out of their way for you? Did a waitress at a restaurant give you extraordinary service? Has someone repaired something for you or alleviated a problem you had without charging you? Has a child done something so special that they were deserving of a reward? Use your predetermined amount of money to take care of these people around you. It will force you to tune into the good that you come across every day.

Find one person to go out of your way for each day. I love giving people a story to tell. When I can do something for someone else, that impacts them enough that they feel the need to tell others, I have succeeded. I once found a wallet at a resort while I was vacationing. It had $25 cash in it. I put in an additional $20 before turning it in to the front desk. I gave that recipient a great story to tell. This idea doesn’t have to be about money. You could take the time with a new employee to help them acclimate to the company. You might send an email to the supervisor of phone rep that helped you solve a problem. It could even be a subtle compliment to someone on something they did well. The goal here, make their day.

Random acts of kindness—My friend Randy does this better than anyone I know. He is constantly giving to people. When he goes through a toll booth, he pays for the person behind him. When the lottery payoff goes above $100 million he buys a lottery ticket. He always purchases a second ticket to give away. When I ask him what he would do if the recipient were to win, his response “I’d be so happy for them.” That’s it, no expectations. I’ve known him for over 25 years, he means it. When we discuss why he buys the lottery ticket he says, “the people that I give the tickets to don’t have the means to take vacations. When you get a lottery ticket you ultimately think about what you would do with the money if you were to win. This gives the receiver a moment of hope that they might not otherwise have. I may not be able to change their life but I can make them feel better for five minutes.”

Presence–I am trying to truly appreciate the act of giving. This requires being present in the moment as I give. I have a tendency to be somewhere else. I’m often not fully engaged because I want the gift to come across as nonchalant. I’m realizing that I’m missing out on an opportunity to fully appreciate the moment. It’s the energetic exchange that I get that drives me.

With all the horrific things that are happening in the world, it’s so important to help people see the good in humanity. There are so many ways to positively impact the lives of others. Choose a few that work for you and you will not only improve the quality of your life but the lives of those you encounter.