Six Ways to Stay Calm

Have you ever noticed people who have a sense of inner calm. When you speak to them you become more relaxed. We are drawn to them because they make us feel good about ourselves. I have been blessed to have a handful of these people in my life (one of them is my youngest daughter). I made it a point to understand how they maintain their mindset.

Stay Positive

Calm people tend to focus on the good things around them. They refuse to get sucked into negativity. They understand that within every situation lies an opportunity. They are able to maintain their focus on that opportunity.

Reframe

Calm people understand and utilize the art of reframing. This is why they are able to stay positive. When they hear bad news or ingest negativity they are able to find a positive angle within those set of circumstances. They then reframe their situation to remain in that positive place. When people first learn this technique they often use a trigger. When my brain starts to go in a negative place, I flick my wrist. This serves as a reminder for me to discontinue the negative thought pattern and focus on something more pleasing.

Resist playing out negative mental scenarios

For much of my life I would look at the worst-case scenario and begin to play it out in my head, often repeatedly. As I gained more life experience, I began to understand the law of attraction, which suggests that the more focus you give to a particular outcome, the higher the probability that it actually occurs. I still want to have an understanding of what the worst scenario might be as it’s important to identify risk. The difference now is once the evaluation is made, I try to reframe my position to see a more positive outcome. As I focus on the desired outcome I also increase the probability of it happening.

Build Your Support System

While we may have great intentions, as humans we often fall off the proverbial horse. While I do my best to stay on a path of calmness and positivity, I find myself losing balance more frequently than I’d like to admit. This is where my support system comes in. I have a couple of friends and family members that are helpful in bringing me back to center. I also have a coach for that specific reason. I use my coach to help me form a vision for my life, then provide guidance and accountability to help me stay on that path. This exercise does amazing things for keeping me calm.

Have a physical space that grounds you

Is there a place for which you have daily access that is calming for you? It could be a corner in your bedroom, a chair in your living room, or place in your backyard under a tree. Going to this space has a calming effect on you. Take the time to get to this space each day. As you do it will act as a trigger to calm you.

Disconnect

Once you enter the space that grounds you, disconnect. People stay calm by taking the time to clear their mind and connecting to something bigger than they are. Give yourself the gift of personal reflection. Taking the time to disconnect especially when you first wake and/or just before you go to sleep can help you become a much calmer person.

If you want to take a deeper dive into this discussion, please tune into “The 90 Second Navigator Podcast,” which can be accessed through iTunes or via my website at JoelBrookman.com