Diffuse the Anger

If you subscribe to my blog or The 90 Second Navigator Podcast, you know that I never discuss politics because it’s just too polarizing. As a voter I would classify myself as fiscally conservative and socially moderate. I believe that people should have the ability to make their own decisions provided those decisions don’t negatively impact others. I think your spirituality, sexual preference, and cultural influences are your business. I honor your choices provided you don’t impose your will on others. I believe in empathy for my fellow humans: more empathy makes the world a better place. The challenge with my ideals is they don’t fit squarely into either political party here in the U.S. As I witness the divisions within the country, I’m beginning to see this as a good thing.

What has made the United States a great nation is the willingness of people across all races and religions to come together and move beyond their differences. It’s rare that people’s opinions are completely aligned on anything, especially if they come from different backgrounds. Opinions and viewpoints are a by-product of life experience. Life experience is drawn from culture and upbringing. It’s ok to disagree, the art is in remaining rational and finding the center ground. If we allow our emotions to take over, the disagreement elevates to conflict, which often results in hate. Our cultural diversity has resulted in thought leadership that has allowed us to achieve amazing things as a country. Preserving this way of life requires tolerance. Tolerance blossoms through empathy, which requires us to “walk in the shoes of others.” It’s important to see things from differing viewpoints.

While disagreement is one thing, hate is another. Last week in Charlottesville, we were put to the test. When our President had an opportunity to weigh in, instead of helping the nation to heal, he chose to exasperate an already volatile situation.

A good leader should be bringing people together, not tearing them apart. A good leader should be moving the collective consciousness of the country in a positive direction. This requires a moral compass that aligns with the majority of people you lead.

Last week brought hatred and bigotry back into the spotlight. Just when we think we are evolving as country, racism again rears its ugly head. We now face a choice: do we stay mad or do we seek to diffuse the anger and move forward?

Diffuse the anger. When you hear about a news story that bothers you, listen, acknowledge it, and then move on by focusing your attention elsewhere . The more you tune into the media machine by giving your attention to the pundits and their opinions, the angrier you will become. There is a fine line between being informed and becoming consumed.

Resist the desire to engage on a topic with people who have strong opposing viewpoints to your own. Since it’s nearly impossible to change the mind of someone with a strong opinion on a particular issue (especially regarding politics) save yourself from frustration. Think back over your life and ask yourself how often you’ve successfully changed the minds of those that had strong convictions in their own viewpoints. In the end, it’s an exercise in futility.

Temper your action with wisdom. Try not to react to people while you are angry. Don’t allow your emotions to dictate your response. If you wait until you are calm, you thoughts become clearer and you increase the probability of avoiding conflict. When emotions run high people can get vicious. Nothing provokes anger like a heated political argument.

Be nice. Ever notice the person that’s nice to everyone around them until they get behind the wheel of a car? What about the trolls on the internet? Are they that nasty in person? There’s a simple solution to mitigating your exposure to the negative energy: Be aware of events around you, but do not become consumed by them. Maintain a mindset of kindness and empathy. You will be amazed at your ability to diffuse the anger not only around you, but inside you.